Écoutez!

Hello December. And... weather that doesn't require a coat. Oh right, it's the midwest. It can freeze in September and be 60 degrees three months later.

My interest in creating my own music station has re-ignited. Not really sure how to go about doing it. I've been reading up on creating online stations, and some require servers, some require payment... While that's fine, I just don't see the point in paying for something if people aren't going to listen to it. I want to share my music. Tonight I imagined I had a station, and made up a playlist of the songs I would play. It would be great if people could listen to it like they listen to their ipod on random... Not knowing what's next, but knowing they'll like it.

Today was a day off from work. I spent most of it cooking. Made double chocolate cookies from scratch, a big salad, and french onion potatoes. The latter two don't require much, but the cookies were quite time consuming.

The song I'm listening to now still gets me. It's on the end of the pilot episode of Rescue Me, and I think of the scene every time I hear the song. It brings feelings of isolation and endurance. Coping with what has happened and is happening, in your own way.
Here's the video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpXw6ZbkZP0
If you want to skip the speech and just hear the song, go to 3:00. But I suggest watching the whole thing, gives you a better sense of what I'm talking about.
It will forever be a favorite of mine.

A Digressive Sip

Mmm... My first cocktail (actually, this one's my second) in over a week. I'm risking being violently ill due to an interaction, but as a horny couple who forgot their birth control says, "risk it? risk it." And then, after that first sip and shudder of satisfaction, "worth it" is uttered.

It only got bad when I knew others were able to enjoy a beverage themselves. I think "hey, that sounds good. When I get home, I'll... oh right. Do nothing." The reason I was unable is because of the antibiotics I was on. I swear this pill bottle had three different stickers on it that said "Don't Drink, Bitch." The doc that prescribed them and the pharmacist both said NO drinking. While taking the medication and then for another two days after. My last dose was yesterday. Close enough.

I'd enter the "I'm not an alcoholic" argument here, but it bores me. You just have to believe I'm not. Enjoying liquor doesn't equal alcoholism.

So my crazy ER doc and I are kinda buds now. He amuses me, and I seem to do the same for him. There are only a few comments shared here and there, but they make my night a bit better. Just having someone that acknowledges my presence... doesn't treat me like someone that... well... cleans up after them.

This week is Thanksgiving. Please find something to be thankful for. There's always something. Sometimes the despair or unhappiness you may be feeling may cloud your thoughts and douse what you usually see as your beacon of perseverance, but whatever you saw hasn't changed. You have. So change again, and take solace in it once more.

I think I'll end with that rather long-winded component. I'll re-read it later and think "where did that come from?"

Cúram a ghlacadh.

Better, Stronger, Faster Fortunate Gourds

Goodbye October. You are a favorite month of mine. I apologize for not doing the tradition that takes place in your duration, but there is a pumpkin or two out there thanking their lucky seeds that they're not being massacred. I really meant to (as a semi-artist, I enjoy thinking up a design and making art out of a large vegetable) but one, I couldn't find the time and two, once I did, I saw that pumpkins are rather pricey this year.

Recently upgraded our vehicle. I feel weird, because according to some guy at the dealership, we were the first to get this new vehicle. Gives me a sense of isolation that ours is the only one of it's kind being driven around town. Anyway, I don't really care for the shape of it (half car, half SUV?) but I love the new features. When asked what I wanted that wasn't in the old car, I immediately said "cruise control!" and now I have it. It's a blessed thing. Also, when we'd go on road trips, there was only one plug-in, and we had 2 phones, an ipod, and a gps to charge. In this upgrade, there are two plug-ins AND a usb port. Win times three. There is satellite radio, which is complimentary for 60 or 90 days (I'm taking advantage of that) and there's Bluetooth, so I can link my phone to my car and talk hands-free. Also, voice command. So much more tech-y stuff than I'm used to. It's fantastic.

Half of my weekend off has been taken away from me. In all honesty, for a legitimate reason. I just hate that I have to wait another two weeks to have a true work-free weekend. But! I have plans for those particular two days.

Looking back, I wonder how I made it through never having weekends off. I don't think I could do it again.

Aloud Not Allowed

There are certain songs that hold memories I can re-tap into. I'm currently listening to one, and feeling the same way I felt when I unknowingly created the memory with it; excited, happy, adventurous. I'm seeing what I saw while listening to this song... years ago. It's great.

My first weekend back to work was a pretty good one. I had probably the shortest schedule out of everyone, so was able to take my time, still get done early, and find other things to do at my leisure. I understand how people like to stay busy through their entire workday, so time goes by faster, but I prefer a more slow-moving shift. No pressure, the ability to adjust to unexpected happenings... Nice and relaxed.

Had a terrible dream the other day. It had me messed up for a few days. I may have appeared grouchy or unsociable, but in truth I was just really brought down by my too vivid, and long, nightmare.

An art exhibit should be in my near-ish future. I've been really wanting to get back into art, especially since this new business is starting, and maybe seeing an exhibit would get my wheels turning and encourage me to dive back in. Now, what to go see... Hmm.

Recapped Changes

Mawage - done. Honeymoon - done. Vacation - over. Next: my younger sister's wedding next month. Then, the holidays. I work Thanksgiving and am off Christmas. Which means... actually, looking at the calendar, I should have the night before off as well. Lots of hoping and finger crossing. If I am to work Christmas eve, and it's not considered a holiday, I'll be working til a couple hours into Christmas morning. Not something that is looked forward to.

The mawage went smoothly, other than a small wardrobe malfunction when my betrothed suddenly grabbed my hand and raised it in triumph. But I didn't let it bother me. I tried treating it like an "oops... moving on" incident. However, I recently copied a friend's pics and vids to my computer and discovered there is video evidence.

There were many comments on how awesome the ceremony and reception was, and we got several thank-you's and much praise, but honestly, he and I were but a fraction of the elements that made it so great. Most of it being everyone else; the wedding party, the outside help who were just as (or more) helpful and reliable, and of course the people that showed up to observe/participate. I've very glad that the feedback has all been positive.

I was asked by (I can say this now) my significant other a few days ago, what do I want for Christmas? I replied with "a new laptop." Because mine is circling the drain, and I don't mean around the rim. He was silent after my reply, and then said "so what do you want for Christmas?" I guess my first request was out of the question. So I asked for the first, second, sixth, and seventh seasons of Rescue Me, to complete my collection. The final season of Monk would be great too, to complete that series as well (and finally see the end of the show). But, as the vows stated, we are "for poor and even poorer" and must make do.

There's a song I've recently heard, loved, and acquired. Once, I played it and had tears flowing while listening, because of the images it projected. Very powerful.

Aladdin - the Disney cartoon - was on ABC Family tonight. I was bothered by their changing of lyrics (in the first minute of the movie, no less) and couldn't help but notice that those lyrics were just fine 20 years ago. (Good Lord, is it that old already? Talk about a slap in the face from reality.) I just didn't understand. I was only halfway listening to the movie, but automatically noticed the alteration, mostly because the voice that changed the lyrics was different. I hate that.

Go dti an chead uair eile.

Remedial Thongs

A countdown has begun. Less than a month. I'm excited about the vacation we finally get to take after, but my excitement seems to not be shared. My first real vacation since I can remember. My anxiousness is met by indifference. Oh well.

Had tonight off. Helped a bit with the setup of a business, re-arranged the downstairs of the apartment, then made dinner for a couple friends and their young'n. Which went over quite well, thankfully.

I'm listening to some random music tonight, hoping to lift my spirits. The Heavy, Gnarls Barkley, OK Go, Middle Class Rut, QOTSA... Not really in the mood to listen to Elbow. I don't think I'm burnt out, there's just something that made listening to them a great thing to experience, and now it's no longer significant. But, they will remain my favorite band.

Top Gear is still an enjoyment I can add to my day. I know that previously I babbled extensively about the third episode, with the moonshine & flying coupe de ville, but the fifth episode could quite possibly be even better. One thing that's great, haha, of course being a music person, is how they always have 80's-ish music when the camera's on the Fiero. And how they play the National Lampoon's Vacation theme when they show the station wagon.

They (again) have crappy cars, and one of their challenges is to stop midway up a hill, set their parking brake, grab a bowling ball, get back in & take off without their cars rolling away. Well, one of them fails, and ends up climbing out either their driver side door or window as it rolls sideways off the hill...colliding with my favorite guy's car. He says "what is wrong with you!?" and then gets ahold of the bowling ball and throws it at the first guy's car.

Hmm. I may re-watch it. Guaranteed laughs. Sounds remedial.

Out of nowhere, the other day I had "Goodbye Horses" in my head. Generally, that song is associated with perversity and a well-known actor in nothing but an open robe and a wig, standing with his legs crossed.

Doesn't stop me from singing it while in the presence of strangers.

Is there a thong in your heart?
Sorry. Random Whose Line quote.

One downside to being this close to the certain event, I haven't been able to do much outside home and work, because of needing to save money. I haven't been to a movie since May, over 3 months ago. Haven't really been out for drinks since then either. Not that I got many invites anyway.

I was told recently by someone that they were using my method of surviving a bad day. Which includes alcohol consumption and either a video game, favorite tv show, music, or writing. Or a mixture of those. But mostly the alcohol consumption. I almost said that my method has an ulterior motive - to bring about the end of the self hatred, frustration, and hatred of others sooner. While there are those I love and adore dearly, such as my son, his father, and select few others, that I would do anything for - whether it were within my power or not - I hate how I feel. I hate how I see people. And I hate myself for the way I feel. While it's up for grabs whether people in general deserve to be categorized as good or bad, and while I have witnessed occurrences that favor both sides, I seem to view them negatively. In my experience, there is more often someone there that disrupts your life more often than there's someone there to enhance it.

But, luckily, everyday I get to see two faces that make things bearable and put a damper on all the negativity that I seem to tote.

So yeah... Next time you think you're empathizing with someone, you may want to reconsider. There may be more to them and their actions than you know.

Coupe'd

My work night turned out to be crappy and miserable. Between having a cold - where you spend half the night sneezing and the other half feeling like you're gonna sneeze (bridge of your nose and around your eyes tingling and aching) - and being unable to take my half hour lunch break - at all - it quite sucked. Fatigue also played a part.

But! Home sweet home. Concocted a cocktail and re-watching an episode of the show I've started. The U.S. version of Top Gear. I've only seen 3 episodes, and I love it. This third episode, as I said, is worth re-watching. Hilarious. The moonshine episode. Definitely recommended.

I hope they keep this show going. It's really interesting - even to people who aren't car-savvy. The three guys who do it work really well together and make it hilarious.

"Is that your lack of confidence I hear? That is refreshing! I'd like another sip!"

"Pick a number between one and ten."
"Seven."
"Close. Eight. You go first.
"....That didn't sound fair."

"Should we tell him he already crossed the finish line?"
"Nah, let him go."

The Flying Coupe Deville. So incredibly great. And then playing taps for the car... hahaha.

Sorry. Get carried away sometimes.
But seriously... Check it out.

Tell Me, Who Are You

Likes: Tomatoes. Puzzles. Reading. Swimming. Truth.

Dislikes: Cream corn. Reality shows. Boredom. Liars.

I am a hypocrite, a sloucher, a nail biter, a drinker, and a procrastinator.

Also a musician, a working mother, and a companion.

And a friend, when I'm not used or lied to.

I have a mixture of cowardice and bravery. Cowardice when it involves my own feelings, bravery when it involves others.

I don't have the ability to accurately express myself, especially when I'm offended, angry, or hurt.

And the less people try to find out the cause of these feelings, especially when it's their fault, the more I see their feelings of indifference.

Simple things please me. Polite gestures. Kind words. Getaways, escapes, etc. Appreciation.

No point to this. Just bored writing, random thoughts. Thinking about the things the world sees so little of.

Inappropriate Brutal Incisions

Interesting things. Things worth writing about. I wait for them constantly, and sometimes - like now - a few of them at a time fall into my lap. Might as well start at the beginning, like normal people do. You know, the boring way.

(Not for the weak-stomached folk.)

Last week at work while I was... working... another associate came in to take out the hazardous waste. He finds me, asks me to clean up a small mess for him, some blood on the floor. The bin beside the blood is open, and he says "you don't want to look in there." Well hello. Obviously he didn't know me. Of course I look. It's a leg. A severed human leg. I was shocked... that my stomach didn't start squirming. I just thought "Oh. That's a leg." and got back to work. Then, soon after, I began wondering if the owner of the leg had an alien insect crawling towards his testicles. "Take the leg!! Take it!!" And a while after that, a play on the old Mike Meyers line, "if it's a severed leg I'm going to be very upset."

Yes, I'm completely aware of how inappropriate and insensitive my response was.

So that was first. The second occurred at the beginning of the shift I just got off of. I was told to go clean up a spill in a certain lobby. I get there, start cleaning. Two cops come in with a guy handcuffed between them. As soon as he's in the lobby this guy starts yelling about police brutality and his rights and all that jazz (I have a feeling he was saving this act for when he was inside, with an audience). And he starts struggling, trying to get free. The two cops hang on the best they can, and end up wrestling the guy to the ground a few feet away from me. As this is happening, I calmly take the scissors and putty knife that's on top of my cart and lock them up inside it. (It's probably reckless and stupid to keep them out like that, but it's convenient.) And then I resume my cleaning. The cops lay on the guy til a few other people - including a security guard that may rival John Coffey in size - come in with a gurney and wheel him off. I finished cleaning, made sure an elderly couple that had witnessed the whole thing were okay, and left.

I really didn't mean for the scissors/putty knife line to be the climax. I'm sure whoever read it thought I did something a lot more serious than lock them up. "Shut up and behave or this 1 & 1/4 inches of flat dull metal will mess you up!" says the 5ft skinny-ish housekeeper.

Right.

Annnd the last thing. Next week I have a doctor's appointment, two hours away. With a plastic surgeon, of all md's. There's a lump on my lower neck/upper back that I'm hoping to get rid of. I thought perhaps it would just require a needle, and be drained, but I guess not. I don't really know what to expect. Anesthesia? A gaping hole after? Something that is better, stronger, faster? Well... okay, if you insist. I won't be able to see it anyway.

Silencio Loco

Sometimes I really wonder how people see me. Not the judgmental people, but the people who work the same job as me and consider me their equal. The reason I wonder is, tonight I was told something I've been told a number of times before while at work. It was Jon, a middle-aged guy I get along with just fine. He likes to tell stories, I like to listen. Anyway, we were in the cafeteria. He was on break and I was on lunch. It was me, him, and another worker messing around on one of the computers that are there. There wasn't much conversation, so I was reading (The Hound of the Baskervilles, on my phone) and Jon said something about me needing to settle down, I was making too much noise. As I said, this wasn't the first time this has been said to be. Another time was right after my shift started. A group of us were walking down the halls to get our supplies. I guess I was in my own world, as usual. A coworker nudged me and said "speak, girl. You're too quiet." I tapped my temple and said "not up here." He said "well have some of that come out your mouth." I replied with "bad idea." This past weekend, yet another person urged me to "speak." Also, an ER doc has commented more than once on my quite disposition. So I can't help but wonder, how do these people see me? I truly hope I don't come off as conceited and inconsiderate. While I'm not one to hide in the shadows as much as I used to, I'm also not one to search my mind for something to start a conversation with. I fill silence with... well... more silence. But, I'll gladly participate in a conversation and chime in if I have something relevant to add.

In all honesty, I kind of like when these small comments are made. Makes me feel like people genuinely want to include me, or know more about me.

The ER doc I previously mentioned... He's a riot. Often the highlight of my shift. I call him Self-Proclaimed Crazy ER Doctor (or Crazy ER Doc for short). The first encounter I had with him, I think he was talking to himself or something, and looked at me and said "you prolly think I'm crazy, don't you?" So I asked "are you?" and he just laughed. Another time we were walking past each other. He asked how I was, I said fine and asked the same, and he said "oh I'm crazy." Then, recently, he was jumping around the nurses station and got another doctor to start doing the whole "Superstar!" arms-out pose with him. I observed this and thought to myself, "oh. my. God. He really is crazy. I love this guy."

There really is no point in this post, but I wanted to write and found it particularly easy to tonight. So it's getting posted.

Low

At a low point. Disliking who I am, how I am, what I do.

I must be doing something wrong to be feeling this way. What scares me (and not a lot scares me) is not knowing what I'm doing wrong, therefore, being unable to fix it.

Being unable to avoid feeling both worthless and, at the same time, in the way. Being unable to see the positive and let little things go.

I want peace in my head instead of the calamity that constantly rages. And to look at myself and see contentment and peace in my face, in my eyes. Instead of seeing tension and unease.

I hate how one person can make the difference between a good night and a bad night, just whether or not they're around you. They clearly consider themself better than me, which I interpret by the glares and the way they look down their nose at me. I begin to think "well, you're not better" but then I remember that they're not the one cleaning up after everyone. I am. And so I have no choice but to deal and continue doing my job. And hate what I do.

Postally Pipped

Crummy night at work. Started off bad when I got paged to do something before I had even gotten my supplies together. Seems like they ran me a lot tonight, one job after another. One of the last ones was worth a groan. An urgent care room that recently held a patient with lice. Surprisingly, I don't get many of those jobs. That was my second. Let's keep it at two.

But... home (almost falling over stuff in the dark because it's not picked up and no lights are on for me to see), drink, music, and a bit of venting puts some distance between me and my lousy evening.

There was a Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers song on the radio during my drive home, and I realized that for such a famous artist/band, I have very little of their music. Luckily, this can be an easy fix. Same for Dave Matthews, but I'm a bit less familiar with him. I should probably fix this as well.

I used to take pride in my (what I considered extensive) music collection, til I heard of libraries that had double and then some what I had. I feel as though what I have is put to shame, and work to improve and increase. And I have wised up after a few horrifying experiences... and now keep a backup of all tracks. I feel pretty smug, but watch... that little portable hard drive will crash too.

Almost threw a large metal trash can tonight. As I said, my evening was a bit crappy, with little things setting me off. Almost always, we have to tie knots in our trash bags, both the large and the small bags, to get them to fit the rim of the cans and not end up at the bottom every time someone throws something in. The small bags are a bit more elastic than the large. I tied a large one, was fitting the top around the rim of the trash can. Guess I used too much bag to tie the knot, so the bag rips. Happens sometimes. I try fitting it again, under the rip, but no. It rips more. I basically ripped the trash bag in half, threw it to the side, and had turned around to the trash can before I got ahold of myself.

Like I said. Crummy night.

If You Say So

Type half a sentence. Delete. Sit and think. Type a few more words, delete. Sit and stare at the mental blank that is visualized. Shiver in response to a breeze from the open window. Sway and nod to the music when an especially liked song comes on the ipod.

Interesting... I'm listening to a song (not a full-band song) and I can hear the pages of the music being turned. I've never heard that before. At least that's what it sounds like. (And I would know.)

There's a song by Nick Cave that used to be a favorite of mine. I listen to it now and still really like it, but never really realized how odd it is. It's basically verse after verse of questions and answers, and each question is directed to a different person. I love the trumpet solo in it, and the chorus, even though it's just one line repeated. Perhaps the lyrics aren't all that great, but the instrumentals make up for it.

I applied for a 6-week course of classes and had an interview today. For reasons I don't agree with, it seems I won't be accepted into one of the 6 openings. Since I wouldn't be able to transfer from my current position into the one the classes are for until I've worked there for a year (which is about 7 months away), they seem to think it illogical to allow me to take the course and get certified. I don't agree. I'm not guaranteed a position anyhow, because there won't be 6 job positions open when the classes end. So, what's it going to hurt? Let me take the classes and keep working my current job until something opens up, or I get accepted somewhere else.

That was probably really confusing to read. Sorry.

Good Units, More Elements

Tis Saturday. Er, twas Saturday. About 2 hours ago it ended, as did my shift at work. I'm quite pleased with my work day. I did units, or patient rooms. First time by myself, got about 10 done. I was assigned to the 5th floor, but I ended up spending more time everywhere else. I wasn't looking forward to the disgruntled and/or unintelligible patients in the rooms I had to clean, but luckily, my night did not include any.

I decided to give Elbow's new-ish 'Build A Rocket Boys' album a try, since I love their previous album so much (yes, I was finally able to get past the first 2 or 3 songs). This album's first song has been an instant hit with me. It's a longer one, but worth the time. A few minutes into it, it gets a more electronic sound, and towards the end the music really swells, which I love listening to with earphones.

Most music is better with earphones (or headphones, whichever), at least that's my belief. I'm not one of those typical young people who listen to things loud to show off. The louder the music, at least most of the kinds I listen to, the more elements you can hear in it. There's a video I love to watch and listen to, with earphones in. Pink Floyd's "Run Like Hell" from their Pulse concert. It just sounded so much better than just on computer speakers.

Getting tired of the "not responding" that my laptop has been doing more and more lately. Just... work. Please. Function. For me. I haven't the funds to replace you.

Oooo... "The Night Will Always Win." Another instant favorite. Probably a favorite out of all their music. God I love Elbow.

Damn, the Back Button Syndrome is back.

Currently in pursuit of a beer & pizza night. Dunno why. I threw out the idea in the subtle suggestive way I always use, but no takers. Or at least no one wanting some ale & DoeMeenoe's* at midnight on a Saturday night. I shall remain in pursuit of it, however.

Alrighty. That's it. Tee Tee Eff Inn.

*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlExtkU0j7I

Merde.

Screwed up at work the other night. And it was my 4th bad night at work in a row, so I ended up going home early, due to feeling so lousy, leaving with my understanding supervisor's words "sleep it off" following me. The three nights preceding last night were messes that I shouldn't have had to clean up, even covering the ER. But the 4th night was my fault. I can come up with excuses for my mistake, such as never really having done a patient room by myself, or feeling rushed & panicked because I was told a new patient was on their way up... But in the end, it's still my fault. Just a boneheaded stupid mistake. Hopefully nothing will come of it.

I spoke to a friend about it, another housekeeper who got hired the same date as I. She said that if the nursing staff can leave doors open to rooms of patients who tested positive for TB, and not tell the housekeepers or have signs put up warning people, then they shouldn't give me any flak for my incident (which didn't involve TB, by the way).

Luckily tonight was much better. It was long, due to going in an hour early to make up for leaving early the night before. Also, I received 2 "Be A Star" (above & beyond) cards. The other day I was asked to keep an eye out for a diamond that had come off someone's wedding band. They all figured it was long gone, but lo & behold, I found it. Go me.

A Chorus of Supposes

My current music liking is the first two songs from Elbow's album "The Seldom Seen Kid." I had the intention of listening to the whole album to get accustomed to every song but... that 'back' button seems to keep getting pressed.

I first learned of Elbow when I heard them on an episode of Rescue Me. The song was "Grounds For Divorce" and it accompanied the scene perfectly. Since then, which was probably over a year ago, it has been my favorite. However, I think "Starlings" and "The Bones of You" are just a few 'back' button presses away from taking the lead.

Oh. And they're British. Like you care.

Have had some interesting dreams lately. I got shot in one. (Not the first one I've had where that's happened.)

I have been reading A Study In Scarlet, which is the first Sherlock Holmes book. Perhaps it's just the convenience of having it wherever I go, since it's on my phone, but I seem to be reading it regularly. I used to read all the time. Growing up, I would spend hours of my day in my room with a book, sunflower seeds, and mountain dew. Completely satisfied. Now, however, I don't know what my deal is. I don't know if I just can't get into the books I choose, or I get bored... I received Stephen King's 'Under the Dome' for Christmas, which is over 1,000 pages, probably the lengthiest, if not, close to, books I've ever had. Got through it without a problem. Kept me interested the whole time. Wish I could get through all novels like that.

Ah... Success. I'm on song 5. Another song I've come to like. "An Audience With The Pope." Too bad I don't have better persuasion methods. I'd get people to listen to these songs.

I have been searching for Michael Hutchence's solo album. It seems to be quite unpopular, judging my how little success I've had in finding it. It's not even on iTunes! My last resort is to pay too much for it, and then the shipping too. Michael Hutchence was the lead singer of INXS, whose biggest hit (late 80's) was probably Need You Tonight. He has a tragic story and death, which is also perhaps a bit of a mystery, which always seems to interest me. (So did Sid Vicious.)

I have succeeded in not typing about what I intended to, which probably had more of a bitching and moaning vibe. Music has, once again, come to my aid.

More Please

I'm listening to my child's Speech Therapy session. The therapist is rea-HEALLY pissing him off today. Keeps taking away his sippy cup, trying to get him to say or signal "more please." Instead of saying "bad idea lady" I'm keeping my mouth shut. (She's new.)

Got a job a few months ago, at the hospital here. It's alright. I don't really like the hours, but they seems to work best with our family schedule. And the paycheck is extremely nice to have. My first full-time job, other than the girl scout camp counselor job I did the summer I graduated.

I'm also taking one class that is in session 2 mornings a week. I'm in pursuit of a Surgical Tech certificate. However, I have recently been told that after working a year at the hospital, I can transfer out to other departments, and people have been transferring to be Surg Techs without any training. Kinda makes this schooling seem pointless. I'm not saying that furthering my education is pointless, just that taking classes for something that is hiring untrained people seems a bit useless. Maybe it'll help my chances of successfully transferring.

The weather is finally warming up. As it does every year, it seemed to have a difficult time making up its mind at first. A warm day, then three cold, then two more warm, a warm rainy day, the next day it would freeze...

I miss having friends. I'm very glad to have someone at home to talk to and spend time with, and I don't know what I'd do without him. But it would still be nice to have an outside friend or group of friends to do things with. And since I'm either working, sleeping, or catching up on cleaning at home, I'll probably continue to be without.

Not really anything else to tell, so guess this entry will end on a depressing note. Sorry.