Sometimes I really wonder how people see me. Not the judgmental people, but the people who work the same job as me and consider me their equal. The reason I wonder is, tonight I was told something I've been told a number of times before while at work. It was Jon, a middle-aged guy I get along with just fine. He likes to tell stories, I like to listen. Anyway, we were in the cafeteria. He was on break and I was on lunch. It was me, him, and another worker messing around on one of the computers that are there. There wasn't much conversation, so I was reading (The Hound of the Baskervilles, on my phone) and Jon said something about me needing to settle down, I was making too much noise. As I said, this wasn't the first time this has been said to be. Another time was right after my shift started. A group of us were walking down the halls to get our supplies. I guess I was in my own world, as usual. A coworker nudged me and said "speak, girl. You're too quiet." I tapped my temple and said "not up here." He said "well have some of that come out your mouth." I replied with "bad idea." This past weekend, yet another person urged me to "speak." Also, an ER doc has commented more than once on my quite disposition. So I can't help but wonder, how do these people see me? I truly hope I don't come off as conceited and inconsiderate. While I'm not one to hide in the shadows as much as I used to, I'm also not one to search my mind for something to start a conversation with. I fill silence with... well... more silence. But, I'll gladly participate in a conversation and chime in if I have something relevant to add.
In all honesty, I kind of like when these small comments are made. Makes me feel like people genuinely want to include me, or know more about me.
The ER doc I previously mentioned... He's a riot. Often the highlight of my shift. I call him Self-Proclaimed Crazy ER Doctor (or Crazy ER Doc for short). The first encounter I had with him, I think he was talking to himself or something, and looked at me and said "you prolly think I'm crazy, don't you?" So I asked "are you?" and he just laughed. Another time we were walking past each other. He asked how I was, I said fine and asked the same, and he said "oh I'm crazy." Then, recently, he was jumping around the nurses station and got another doctor to start doing the whole "Superstar!" arms-out pose with him. I observed this and thought to myself, "oh. my. God. He really is crazy. I love this guy."
There really is no point in this post, but I wanted to write and found it particularly easy to tonight. So it's getting posted.
In all honesty, I kind of like when these small comments are made. Makes me feel like people genuinely want to include me, or know more about me.
The ER doc I previously mentioned... He's a riot. Often the highlight of my shift. I call him Self-Proclaimed Crazy ER Doctor (or Crazy ER Doc for short). The first encounter I had with him, I think he was talking to himself or something, and looked at me and said "you prolly think I'm crazy, don't you?" So I asked "are you?" and he just laughed. Another time we were walking past each other. He asked how I was, I said fine and asked the same, and he said "oh I'm crazy." Then, recently, he was jumping around the nurses station and got another doctor to start doing the whole "Superstar!" arms-out pose with him. I observed this and thought to myself, "oh. my. God. He really is crazy. I love this guy."
There really is no point in this post, but I wanted to write and found it particularly easy to tonight. So it's getting posted.
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