A countdown has begun. Less than a month. I'm excited about the vacation we finally get to take after, but my excitement seems to not be shared. My first real vacation since I can remember. My anxiousness is met by indifference. Oh well.
Had tonight off. Helped a bit with the setup of a business, re-arranged the downstairs of the apartment, then made dinner for a couple friends and their young'n. Which went over quite well, thankfully.
I'm listening to some random music tonight, hoping to lift my spirits. The Heavy, Gnarls Barkley, OK Go, Middle Class Rut, QOTSA... Not really in the mood to listen to Elbow. I don't think I'm burnt out, there's just something that made listening to them a great thing to experience, and now it's no longer significant. But, they will remain my favorite band.
Top Gear is still an enjoyment I can add to my day. I know that previously I babbled extensively about the third episode, with the moonshine & flying coupe de ville, but the fifth episode could quite possibly be even better. One thing that's great, haha, of course being a music person, is how they always have 80's-ish music when the camera's on the Fiero. And how they play the National Lampoon's Vacation theme when they show the station wagon.
They (again) have crappy cars, and one of their challenges is to stop midway up a hill, set their parking brake, grab a bowling ball, get back in & take off without their cars rolling away. Well, one of them fails, and ends up climbing out either their driver side door or window as it rolls sideways off the hill...colliding with my favorite guy's car. He says "what is wrong with you!?" and then gets ahold of the bowling ball and throws it at the first guy's car.
Hmm. I may re-watch it. Guaranteed laughs. Sounds remedial.
Out of nowhere, the other day I had "Goodbye Horses" in my head. Generally, that song is associated with perversity and a well-known actor in nothing but an open robe and a wig, standing with his legs crossed.
Doesn't stop me from singing it while in the presence of strangers.
Is there a thong in your heart?
Sorry. Random Whose Line quote.
One downside to being this close to the certain event, I haven't been able to do much outside home and work, because of needing to save money. I haven't been to a movie since May, over 3 months ago. Haven't really been out for drinks since then either. Not that I got many invites anyway.
I was told recently by someone that they were using my method of surviving a bad day. Which includes alcohol consumption and either a video game, favorite tv show, music, or writing. Or a mixture of those. But mostly the alcohol consumption. I almost said that my method has an ulterior motive - to bring about the end of the self hatred, frustration, and hatred of others sooner. While there are those I love and adore dearly, such as my son, his father, and select few others, that I would do anything for - whether it were within my power or not - I hate how I feel. I hate how I see people. And I hate myself for the way I feel. While it's up for grabs whether people in general deserve to be categorized as good or bad, and while I have witnessed occurrences that favor both sides, I seem to view them negatively. In my experience, there is more often someone there that disrupts your life more often than there's someone there to enhance it.
But, luckily, everyday I get to see two faces that make things bearable and put a damper on all the negativity that I seem to tote.
So yeah... Next time you think you're empathizing with someone, you may want to reconsider. There may be more to them and their actions than you know.
Had tonight off. Helped a bit with the setup of a business, re-arranged the downstairs of the apartment, then made dinner for a couple friends and their young'n. Which went over quite well, thankfully.
I'm listening to some random music tonight, hoping to lift my spirits. The Heavy, Gnarls Barkley, OK Go, Middle Class Rut, QOTSA... Not really in the mood to listen to Elbow. I don't think I'm burnt out, there's just something that made listening to them a great thing to experience, and now it's no longer significant. But, they will remain my favorite band.
Top Gear is still an enjoyment I can add to my day. I know that previously I babbled extensively about the third episode, with the moonshine & flying coupe de ville, but the fifth episode could quite possibly be even better. One thing that's great, haha, of course being a music person, is how they always have 80's-ish music when the camera's on the Fiero. And how they play the National Lampoon's Vacation theme when they show the station wagon.
They (again) have crappy cars, and one of their challenges is to stop midway up a hill, set their parking brake, grab a bowling ball, get back in & take off without their cars rolling away. Well, one of them fails, and ends up climbing out either their driver side door or window as it rolls sideways off the hill...colliding with my favorite guy's car. He says "what is wrong with you!?" and then gets ahold of the bowling ball and throws it at the first guy's car.
Hmm. I may re-watch it. Guaranteed laughs. Sounds remedial.
Out of nowhere, the other day I had "Goodbye Horses" in my head. Generally, that song is associated with perversity and a well-known actor in nothing but an open robe and a wig, standing with his legs crossed.
Doesn't stop me from singing it while in the presence of strangers.
Is there a thong in your heart?
Sorry. Random Whose Line quote.
One downside to being this close to the certain event, I haven't been able to do much outside home and work, because of needing to save money. I haven't been to a movie since May, over 3 months ago. Haven't really been out for drinks since then either. Not that I got many invites anyway.
I was told recently by someone that they were using my method of surviving a bad day. Which includes alcohol consumption and either a video game, favorite tv show, music, or writing. Or a mixture of those. But mostly the alcohol consumption. I almost said that my method has an ulterior motive - to bring about the end of the self hatred, frustration, and hatred of others sooner. While there are those I love and adore dearly, such as my son, his father, and select few others, that I would do anything for - whether it were within my power or not - I hate how I feel. I hate how I see people. And I hate myself for the way I feel. While it's up for grabs whether people in general deserve to be categorized as good or bad, and while I have witnessed occurrences that favor both sides, I seem to view them negatively. In my experience, there is more often someone there that disrupts your life more often than there's someone there to enhance it.
But, luckily, everyday I get to see two faces that make things bearable and put a damper on all the negativity that I seem to tote.
So yeah... Next time you think you're empathizing with someone, you may want to reconsider. There may be more to them and their actions than you know.
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