Looking forward to this coming weekend... A little less than I was, due to some plan changes. But hopefully it's still fun. Going to a wedding a couple hours away. By meself now, "date"less after an unfortunate occurrence. I have a feeling I will be doing much sitting and watching the mingling and dancing... though not completely alone. A certain fellow shall accompany me, a captain of sorts.
I looked for and found a dress for this weekend that is kinda pirate-ish, without looking like a costume. Actually, the seller's description included the words "Pirate" "Bohemian" and "Indian." As soon as it arrived, I accessorized. Jewelry, cardigan, shoes... Looks pretty good, I think.
Upon a recent realization, I'm once again wishing for the close friendship I yearn to have. I have had a few best friends, but they have come and gone. And for some reason, I usually seem to be the constant variable, the one that doesn't change. Never able to find a match. My high school best friend and I drifted apart due to distance. And it always seemed like I was willing to visit but she wasn't able to. My next bf moved a state away. Again, I visited, but she didn't tell me when she was in for a visit. The next, while nearest the close friendship I want, turned out to be a bit of a stalker in love with me. After that came someone I loved spending time with, but again wouldn't reciprocate the effort and couldn't be trusted to tell the truth. Found other interests and... things. The most recent... I lately considered him my closest friend but recent revelations show that I'm not seen in the same light. While I know I shouldn't care, should take whatever friendship I can get, it still leaves me lacking in what I would really like to have. Perhaps I was just groping for it.
I understand that things happen. Marriages, families, relocations. But I still dislike how many of my best friendships have fallen apart, or aren't what I so badly desire. Seems inevitable anymore.
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